Imperfect Parenting

My friend Kristi is a writer.  She writes stories about her family that make you laugh and cry.  She sweeps you away with her phrases.  Her stories are real and honest.  That’s part of why I enjoy reading them.   Here is someone finally telling the truth.  It isn’t the cleaned up version it is simply what happened.  She masterfully includes her readers in her day to day struggles and difficulties.  After reading one of her stories, her adult son said to her, “Don’t you ever get embarrassed?”  I suppose if he were writing he would have left out the mistakes and the foibles.  Those are the very things that make me love her writing.  Her willingness to show her life warts and all gives me courage to face my most imperfect life as well.

We need more honesty.  I don’t mean airing all our dirty laundry, but being honest with our struggles, with our doubts, with our inability to do things right, again.  We don’t do anyone any favors by pretending we have it all together.  (Ourselves included.)

My daughter, Anna, commented the other day about what a relief it is to realize she is not the perfect parent and will never be the perfect parent.  Whether or not her children choose the right path is not in her hands, but in God’s.  She has lost confidence in herself and instead her confidence is in God.  Instead of feeling frantic, she feels relieved.  I am amazed at the maturity she shows.  I think I was past forty before I realized I couldn’t do it right.  That the choices my kids made, good or bad, were not because of me, but because of their own heart’s pull.

I’m going to be writing a few posts over the next few weeks on raising children.  I’ll warn you they will not be the pretty picture you expect.  If you want perfect stories about perfect children you’ll have to go somewhere else.  If you are interested in hearing what I am learning through desperate failure stay tuned.

“Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God,” ( 2 Corinthians 3:5 NASB)



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